31 thoughts I had while watching Lady Chatterley's Lover

As a former English major, I have a truly humbling confession: I have never read Lady Chatterley’s Lover. I’m sure it was assigned to me sometime in college, but what can I say? I’m too busy playing Grand Theft Auto instead of smoking weed (hi ​​Dad) to think about it. However, I’m happy to pretend I’ve read DH Lawrence’s novel, thanks to a brand new adaptation that just hit Netflix. Without further ado, that’s all I was thinking while watching Emma Collin’s Lady Chatterley’s Lover.

1. Emma Corrin, aka Constance, is marrying someone I can only Tell no-show man.
3. Constance says of an association with a German: “That was before the war, so it doesn’t count.” Fair enough!
5. Well, maybe Constance’s husband, Clifford, isn’t so average, because he comes in with a nice plate of cocktails.
7. I love Clifford’s playful little pajamas! Unfortunately, he was too stressed about going back to war (the next morning) to have sex, but they did, maybe, have sex a little, in case you were worried.
9. Clifford was wounded in the war, he and Constance took all Chip and Joanna Gaines to a dusty looking mansion and I Think it’s in his house (no weird evangelical vibes.)
11. Well, this movie fits well, I must Say! I like Emma in purple. Ethan Hawke.
13. Wait, is that Ethan Hawke?
15. Well, no. I checked. (It’s Jack O’Connell.)
17. Constance met a miners’ protest and was frustrated by it, we get glimpses of her class consciousness swell.
19. Clifford tries to Inception Constance thinks she’s not horny, tells her that thought life is right Marriage (or whatever) is more important and basically allows her to have a baby with another man.
21. Apparently, we’re in the UK, so it’s all happening in a beautifully landscaped garden.
23. oh, I love Emma’s hair (okay, wig) down.
24. There’s a real The Yellow Wallpaper moment where Constance goes slightly crazy and cut off all the portraits in her room, but luckily, The arrival of her older sister, Hilda, brings her back to reality.
26. Damn, this whole movie is really about getting Constance to sleep, right?
28. Constance saw Mellors’ bare ass in the shower and obviously liked it.
30. They were hanging out in his cabin and talking about books while he kept wearing probably the most raunchy white henley I’ve ever seen.
32. Oh wow, a total masturbation scene. OK, Netflix!
34. Constance returns home to the Mellors, this time in a very Batsheva-inspired floral belted gown, and plans to read James Joyce Be there often. certainly.
36. And just like that, we have our first Constance-Mellors sex scene. I’m the first to criticize literary adaptations for being stingy, but …it’s hot!
38. Sex scene, sex scene, garden scene, fancy dinner scene, sex scene. There I caught up with you.
40. Constance is clearly in love with Mellors, which… who wouldn’t?
42. Every time I see people swimming in natural water in England, I feel cold. what can I say? I am a sympathetic.
44. Clifford’s insistence that Constance “go for a walk” every time he leaves Mellors is a rather elegant solution.
46. Clifford is such a jerk to Mellas and Constance is mad at him and the rest of the “ruling class”. Queen of Socialism!
48. Honestly, the chemistry between Corrin and Not Ethan Hawke is crackling.
50. Why is Ethan Hawke yelling “Get out of here and then” so pornographic?
52. Rumors abound about Constance and everyone is mad at her.
54. Constance is in Europe (I think?) her sister, with a lovely new hairstyle. Good for her!
56. Constance returned to the cabin wearing a pair of truly chic driving goggles, suggesting they might be together after his divorce. (Oh yes, he’s married.)
58. In British terms: make a good movie!

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