Friday, December 9, 2022
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38 Thoughts While Watching Purple Heart on Netflix

Before I start this review, I should understand it By the way, I’m not a film critic. I’m not even a particularly gifted critic writer . I fell asleep watching Citizen Kane

  • ; my favorite movie is Miss Congeniality ,For God’s sake. I would never deliberately judge another based on their movie tastes – but the defenders of Netflix rom-com Purple Hearts , eh …they are a different story.

 

Purple Heart The premise) is simple: An aspiring musician agrees to fake marrying a troubled Marine for military advantage. But – and I won’t say it lightly – the executions are jaw-droppingly horrific, even for a film that is very openly trying to get away from the absoluteshandeh This is the American healthcare system today. Anyway, let’s dive in!

  1. We’re at Camp Pendleton, baby, we’re about to Romanticizing the hell
  2. of the military-industrial complex.
  3. Sorry to immediately bring up the oversight of the U.S. military, but… come on.
  4. A young Megan Fox-type innocence named Cassie is writing for “Sweet Carlo” Lynn’ does a really painful bar rendition, and I think I’ll look back fondly as this film throws new obstacles my way.
  5. Okay, so Cassie and her friends are waiting for a table at the bar, but before it dies ? It’s actually kind of fun.
  6. “I Can’t Use This” is a full-length spoken word movie.
  7. Some Marines show up at the bar and act like jerks, but one of them— Luke – come and apologize.
  8. Luke made fun of Cassie for daring to… have an opinion but not really exist a soldier?
  9. Was this movie written by a computer?
  10. Hey, there’s a weird guy in this thing, so I guess that’s fine. (sarcasm!)
  11. While we’re here watching Cassie try to ration her insulin or pay for it To support yourself out of pocket, consider donating to a mutual aid fund.
  12. Luke is clean now but still owes him the $15K.
  13. Cassie is wearing a “Future is Women” shirt and I’m having a mental breakdown about it.
  14. Cassie’s friend wants to go back to base camp, she proposes to him for the army’s benefit, but he is not disappointed .
  15. LMAO, Luke is very upset that Cassie would actually cheat on the US government. What a cool, hot traitor!
  16. Many shots of Luke contemplating running.
  17. Don’t worry everyone, Luke has a sister-in-law and a nephew to be humane.
  18. Luke still has his luck with the least threatening drug dealer of all time, so he decides to go with Ka West gets married to get extra money from the army to pay him off. This is how, uh, military benefits work?
  19. Oh, they’re planning a complete fake romance.
  20. I’m going to die.
  21. “Marriage should be for love. And where I come from, it is for life.” with The spoon blocked me
  22. .

    Luke punches Cassie with a classic burn: “What does your tattoo say? Socialism now?”

      When a soldier cheers “hunt down some damn Arabs”, things get, uh, terribly racist.

    1. Pronoun jokes! Everyone drinks!
    2. Oh boy, the whole discussion about Iraqi women’s liberation.
    3. Look, Luke’s family is in the military, and Cassie wants to be a singer , and now that they understand this about each other, the romance will happen.
    4. I guess at least Cassie is getting medical care?
    5. Casey wrote a brand new song for Luke and the rest of the Marines Song, that’s it, the war is over (if you want it).
    6. JK, the war is not over yet.
    7. Cassie performing at a real concert!
    8. The whole sequence of Marines patrolling an unfamiliar area with Casey Band makes me feel like I’m in a mushroom superior. (Or, at least, cough medicine.)
    9. Luke was wounded in the fight, and Cassie’s friend F. Rankie is dead 🙁
    10. oh yeah I forgot that the main part of the plot is Lu G’s dad is a military police and if he finds out they’re fake marriages, he’ll hand them over.
    11. Cassie moved in with Luke although he did oversee PT.
    12. If I were Cassie, I would Run away by now, but go away It’s right to be angry that he didn’t do it Don’t tell her he’s wanted When West is about to attend the Hollywood Bowl
    13. ???), Luke is accused of fraud: their marriage .
    14. Luke takes full responsibility and is discharged, it turns out he and Cassie are really in love .
    15. I’ve never seen anything longer or more convincing to you Ads for more comprehensive health care than this movie.
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