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HomeHealth & FitnessA Urologist Shares 8 Practical Tips for Having Great Sex Over 50

A Urologist Shares 8 Practical Tips for Having Great Sex Over 50

Urologist, pelvic surgeon and sex educator Dr. Rena Malik creates content on YouTube that aims to bust myths, dispel medical misconceptions, and share helpful information on how to have a healthy, enjoyable sex life, she says This should be achievable at any age. In a recent video, Malik gives anyone 50 or older his best practical advice on how to have great sex with your partner.


“Reactive desires become more common as we age,” says Malik. Reactive desires are responses to direct sexual stimuli, as opposed to spontaneous desires that are aroused instantaneously by the individual. “It didn’t mean there was a problem, it just meant more time,” she explained. “Spend time in the foreplay place, where you can really feel each other and enjoy each other in other ways before penetrating sex.”

Try morning sex

Studies have found that the body produces the highest levels of testosterone (a hormone responsible for sex drive and more) immediately after sleep.

“Your testosterone levels may correlate with how high your libido is, so it’s related to our circadian rhythms,” says Malik. “It’s highest in the morning and then keeps dropping throughout the day.” In addition to high testosterone levels, she adds, mornings are better for sex than evenings because there’s less fatigue.


Genitals appear with age A certain level of numbness, so it takes longer to orgasm. “I tell my patients that if you look at the spinal cord, there are sensors for pressure, temperature, vibration, etc.,” Malik said. “It’s important to try different types of things to really stimulate different areas of the spinal cord. This can include using vibrations from a sex toy, using warm or cooling lube, different types of pressure or the light sensation of a feather… Even using different things that you can find in BDSM may actually give you more sensation in your genitals or other parts of your body.”

Check Your health

Malik recommends carefully reviewing your medical history and medications you are taking as some medications may have Side effects of decreased libido. If you are taking medications that affect libido, try discussing alternatives that may be suitable with your doctor.

Use lubricant

Specifically, Malik recommends using vaginal estrogen when having sex with a postmenopausal person. Women who are perimenopausal or postmenopausal produce less estrogen, resulting in less natural vaginal lubrication. “Adding lubricant can make sex less uncomfortable and actually more enjoyable,” she says.

Using a sexual aid Tool

This can be anything that helps with problems related to balance, mobility, weakness or fatigue things, such as someone who has had a stroke or is recovering from an injury. Malik recommends using foam positioning pillows and wedges as a more stable and comfortable alternative to regular pillows or doorjamb swings, which can help securely position your partner so certain sexual acts are easier.

remain optimistic

Malik cites a study of how people in their 40s and 50s think about the future of sex that found that those who were the most optimistic were more likely to have “more frequent, A more satisfying sex life”.

“The brain is the most powerful organ sexually,” she said.

Explore other optionsHeadshot of Philip Ellis “Unfortunately, at some point, for some men, they may not be able to get an erection, they may not be able to get care, or they may not be able to afford erectile dysfunction cost of treatment, in which case you can still have amazing, fantastic orgasms,” says Malik. “Get stimulated in other ways. Spend time with your partner and explore your erogenous zones.”

“Spend time with your partner and don’t expect penetrative sex,” she continued. “Find out what really turns you and your partner on so you can have orgasm without getting an erection.”

Headshot of Philip EllisHeadshot of Philip Ellis Headshot of Philip EllisPhilip Ellis

Philip Ellis is a freelance writer and reporter from the UK covering pop culture, relationships and LGBTQ+ issues. His work has been featured in GQ, Teen Vogue, Man Repeller and MTV.


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