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How Much Should You Really Tell Your Parents About Your Dating Life?

When I was about to go to the gym, my mom was using the speakerphone Phone. I was trying to find a sports bra to wear but it was all dirty so I had to pick one out of the laundry basket and spray it with deodorant. She’s complaining that none of the jeans fit her recent order. I told her she should have made it to them, but she wouldn’t be bothered. The conversation paused, and I knew what she was going to say—I could feel it tingling in the air between us.

“So, did the guy mention anything else about his Halloween party?”

“not yet.”

“He’s quiet again?”

“Not quiet, but…”

“You think he’s worried that you’ll meet his friends?”

I shaved my hair into the tightest bun I could manage.

“Why should he worry about this?”

“I don’t know, maybe he’s worried about what they’ll think.”

“He didn’t embarrass me, if that’s what you meant.”

Before Mom spoke, I tried to think Words to say again, but she was too fast.

“He has a girlfriend, doesn’t he?” she said.

“Why did you say that?” I screamed, then hung up and lay on the bed, staring at the crack in the ceiling. It is quite accessible. There are many more reasons why he might change his mind and bring me here. Maybe it’s too early to introduce me to his friends. Maybe he just forgot. Yet now I feel like all these secret possibilities are moving behind my back into terrifying shapes.

I opened WhatsApp and sent a long voice note in my group chat explaining the situation. I love telling my mom what’s going on in my dating life. She cared about all the little details that other people would find boring, like what the lights were like and whether he was with me waiting for my bus to come. But, you tell her a little, and then she wants one follow-up and the other. It wasn’t her fault. I also want to hear how the story ends. But when things go wrong, it’s like I have to relive all the hurt through her.

Plus, she always sums up the situation with straight-forward, brutal conclusions like “he’s always threatened by you”, which isn’t true from my experience. Then she would change her mind about those conclusions and form new ones, and we would keep diagnosing and re-diagnosing until how much we all thought about this man, which is really weird. Sometimes she would say something that makes me feel

so Sad words like one day she said, “Oh, I just wish a good man would take you home.” Feeling so miserable, like cat hair in flannel pajamas, The Vampire Diaries – rewatch saddo because only people like this make their moms Sympathy for them this way.

I know she’s just worried about me, but I don’t

hope she worries because then I end up having to let her rest assured. When I ended up taking a long time to reassure her, it meant I wasn’t getting the support I was looking for in the first place.

“For this exact reason, I’m not going to tell Mom anything anymore,” my friend replied to my voicemail. “Otherwise, you end up carrying the thoughts, fears, and expectations of two people. And, until you get to a place where you can’t get those people on board (which may never happen, we listen to our loved ones! ), it’s best to assess when and what information you provided her.”

I know my friend is right – fix this The only way is to set some kind of bounds. Later that day, when I got back from the gym, I called my mom and told her I thought it would be best to stop talking about the man I was dating until something concrete happened because I felt like I wasn’t going to let it go. She is disappointed.

I forgot they were here don’t know you fuck What are you talking about setting boundaries. “Oh, I always say the wrong thing,” she said.

I told her I wouldn’t because

feeling angry times, then she took a long sigh and said, “I just want you to be happy.” Then I realized: this is the problem. Moms tend to love us more than we love ourselves. They literally gave us their bodies to stretch their skin until it ripped and their feet were too swollen to put on their shoes. They prioritize our work and ignore emails from people they’d like to do something for. They talk to their friends about us at parties like we are the funniest thing on earth. They made us eat toast without burn, made us eat the sticky bits on the edge of the pie, lent us the clothes they still wore, they kept pushing us to be better because they thought we could do anything matter. They worry about our happiness because they often want us to be more than we do. The problem is, in worry, they often make us feel worse.
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