Friday, December 2, 2022
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I Survive My First Health Festival

Then, I had the weirdest feeling – a slight rev up in my core, sort of like the slight twitch you get when you’re trying to fall asleep. Twitch kept twitching, twitching, twitching like it was sentient and trying to escape from me. Closing my eyes, I heard the coach coming towards me, and then I felt her hand lightly pressing on my stomach.

Reader, I tried and couldn’t make this part up: My entire torso went numb when the trainer touched my stomach. The convulsions intensified as I lay on the mat, prone, completely resigned to what was happening. I didn’t feel vulnerable, awkward, or shy, or anything I thought I would feel; instead, I felt the most beautiful, most powerful sense of release. That weekend, I cried for the second time. Not just tender, scenic tears like the night before when I overlooked the sunset and felt good about my life. We’re talking big, fat tears. Snotty, Grey’s Anatomy season 2 finale, a little teary when Denny died.

My consciousness turned inward. One after another, I saw a chain of memories flash through my mind: I saw my grandmother, who had died a year before Alma, in white, holding out her arms to me; The moment I decided to break up with my first serious boyfriend, holding each other and crying in our New York City apartment; and then I saw every personal and professional rejection, every tripped toe, every Once I looked at myself in the mirror and thought, “ Aren’t you lower than that?” After finishing the supercut, I burst into tears.

The trainer tapped a finger on my forehead and I could hear her whisper, “Yes, yes, yes.” Apparently, I kunda Rini is fine. After a moment, the feeling subsides, the music slows down, then quiets down, and I return to my body.

Apparently all it takes to get one into a wellness festival is a nice sunset workout and kundalini weirdness. By the end of the weekend, I could have gone up against Gwyneth Paltrow herself. I’m talking about adaptogenic herbs, which mushroom strains can prolong life, and how sun exposure is doing wonders for my hormones.

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