The fact that I will be transforming in a few weeks leads me to an inevitable conclusion: I’m too old to be proud of. Just two years ago, there was a time when I spent an entire week in June moving heavy boxes out of the apartment and dancing all night at different gay clubs and queer events, leaving me so tired after my mom made us Had a good night’s sleep during a planned weekend spa trip. (And, trust me, she’ll never let me down.) Unfortunately, I don’t fit in that life anymore – at least I thought so until I heard Kylie Minogue’s “Padam Padam” .
If your life is so spiritually impoverished that you haven’t heard of “Padam Padam,” let me tell you: it’s the title of Milo’s upcoming album Single, Nervous; it was released in May (I refuse to believe this is not a strategy adjacent to pride timing); its title refers to the sound of a heartbeat (???); and it’s currently going viral on TikTok, largely because Minogue sounds like an artificially intelligent creature in the song. Is this our chance to wrest control of superpop music (and music in general) from robots? Maybe, but more importantly, it’s time for us to celebrate a song that’s so unabashedly rhythmic, danceable, and silly it seems designed to appeal to the LGBTQ+ community. We love chaos in all its forms, especially the sound types!