The world has never treated long-distance relationships kindly. While life will never tire of throwing lemons at you with the utmost unpredictability, you’ll never see pop culture delivering fairytale romance that gives even the toughest relationships the credit they deserve. Instead, it was seen as a cover for latent, superficial intentions. In an episode of How How I Met Your Mother
, main character Ted Mosby concludes: “Long distance relationships are a lie, and teens’ pre-college Tell each other to go to bed that summer” Even in these fictional stories, if the love story somehow has a happy ending, there is often an element of infidelity. However, as someone who has been in a long distance relationship for 6 years and finally got married, I’m here to tell you that it’s not that bad. In fact, it’s actually pretty darn good.
My husband and I met at a mutual friend’s party in like most other couples. He worked in the Merchant Marine, usually out to sea for six months at a time. We started dating within six months of meeting each other and got married earlier this year. Since he proposed to me at 2019, people who know my relationship usually tilt their heads sympathetically and ask the same three questions. So, I answer them once and for all, hoping someone will find respite in my story, especially when dating apps are wreaking havoc on romance.
Becoming Honestly, I’m kind of tired of the pessimism associated with long distance relationships. Let’s start with a premise, for your relationship to work, you and your partner should bring great joy to each other, satisfy each other physically and mentally, and there is no problem that cannot be solved with words of love. As in any relationship, red flags should be limited to what you can tolerate, because let’s be honest, no one is perfect and you have your own baggage.
The first argument against long-distance relationships is usually: How do you lock your eyes on someone you don’t see often? This question always confuses me because what is the guarantee that your loyalty to each other won’t be relinquished even if you and your partner live in the same town? People cheat on each other despite living under the same roof, and the answer really comes down to the nature of your relationship and how much loyalty means to you and your partner. For my husband and I, during the first month of seeing each other and confessing our feelings, we put fidelity on the list of things that had to be a part of our relationship in order to work. Our mindset is that we see a long-term relationship with each other. The third has never entered the picture since. We are all so confident in our connection that our line of sight will never be a problem, but we also block any advances made by third parties at first glance. That’s not to say that monogamy should be the way everyone is – what I’m saying is that your partner and you need to be on the same page with clear priorities.