Saturday Night LiveCold Open Target
Donald Trump Press conference following a recent train derailment and toxic chemical spill in East Palestine, Ohio.
“It’s great to be in East Palestine, not a great name,” James Austin Johnson’s Trump said in February Opening 25 section. “Come here and look at these wonderful people who have been dumped by Biden. He and his friend Zelensky are wearing T-shirts in Ukraine for spring break. Very disrespectful.”
Johnson’s ex-President went on to say that what happened in the town was horrible, noting that a farmer approached him and told him they had nothing to eat because the dirt was poisonous.
“Then I said, ‘Well, what are you doing eating dirt? Don’t eat dirt,'” he said. “‘Don’t eat the dirt. You should eat the cold McDonald’s I brought you with bottled water and Trump ice cubes. Honestly, I just put my stickers on some Dasani.”
He continued, “I’ve heard all about your water, but I’m looking at your river, it’s so shiny. I’ve never seen such beautiful water— —beautiful rainbow and color-changing. It’s made with Rihanna’s Fenty Beauty Water.”
Johnson went on to talk about Rihanna’s performance at the Super Bowl and how she knew she was pregnant because she “didn’t move at all” and then pinned the blame on Pete Buttigieg.
“It’s his responsibility,” he said. “Unfortunately, he’s too busy being a nerd and a gay.”
Woody Harrelson, who joined the Five Timers Club as host of the show, kicked off the show with a rambling monologue that included jokes around COVID- pandemic.
The actor said he was in 2019 Read “Craziest Script” after hosting SNL, before being distracted by other topics for a few minutes.
He finally went back to the script he was referring to and said: “So the movie goes like this. The biggest drug cartels in the world get together and buy off all the media and all the politicians , and force everyone in the world to be locked in their homes. People can only come out if they take the cartel’s drugs and take them over and over.”
“I threw the script dropped,” he continued. “I mean, who’s going to believe that crazy idea? Forced to do drugs? I do it voluntarily all day.”
Jack White too The musical guest for the episode.
