The holidays are here, and with them comes the yearly question of what to buy our loved ones. Whether we’re shopping for friends, partners, or parents, trying to find a gift to match the unique and complex people in our lives can be challenging. So why not fantasize about what to buy your favorite TV characters instead—whether as a welcome distraction from the stresses of real-life shopping, or as a kind of dry run?
From sweethearts like The Bear’s Sydney Adamu and Sex Education’s Eric Effiong to tougher nuts like Kendall Roy from Succession and Amy Lau from Beef, we’ve got presents for the small screen’s naughty and nice. Below, see what Vogue is giving 2023’s favorite—or, at least, most memorable—TV characters.
Kendall Roy, Succession: We’re Not Really Strangers
It was a tough year for the eldest boy! Between losing his father and his company, to say Kendall is down on his luck would be a severe understatement. But we also can’t forget that he basically abandoned his children on his ill-fated quest for the Waystar throne. This holiday season, we would give Kendall the card game We’re Not Really Strangers, an intimacy shortcut to help rebuild his shattered bond with his kids.
we’re not really strangeres game card
Sydney Adamu, The Bear: Aimé Leon Dore Garden Clogs
After Carmy gifted her some new Thom Browne at the end of last season, we think Sydney needs a pair of kitchen-appropriate shoes that will match her new status as a chic restaurateur. Thankfully, these Aimé Leon Dore clogs have us saying “Yes, chef.” If Marcus was looking for yet another way to win over Sydney, he can’t go wrong with this hip, yet practical footwear.
Aime Leon Dore
ald garden mule
Agnes van Rhijn, The Gilded Age: Gohar World Seafood Pick Set
Why eat your oysters with a regular utensil when you could use an iridescent mother of pearl pick from Gohar World? We think our Old Money matriarch, Agnes, would be as charmed by this gift as a Lower East Side It-girl.
Ava Coleman, Abbott Elementary: Dr. Dennis Gross DRx Spectralite™ Faceware Pro
If there’s one thing about Ava, she’s going to live lavishly—even on an elementary school principal’s salary. Always up-to-date on the trends, Ava would love a status beauty product, the more opulent the better. We’re sure she’s already nudged (or flat-out instructed) her boyfriend Iggy—a.k.a NBA All-Star Andre Iguodala—to snag her the skincare device du jour, this high-tech LED light face mask from Dr. Dennis Gross.
DRx spectralite™ faceware pro
Lance Arroyo, The Other Two: Le Gramme 9g Ribbon diamond & 18kt gold ring
We all know that a sensitive himbo king like Lance wants to feel special, too. (He did hire a publicist, after all.) Now that his wedding with Brooke is back on—thank God—we think he deserves a man-gagement ring befitting People’s Sexiest Man Alive. Brooke should give him this funky checkered Le Gramme ring that perfectly matches Lance’s fashion sense…and his heart of gold.
le gramme 9g ribbon diamond 18kt gold ring
Portia, The White Lotus: Diotima Crochet Flounce-Trim Dress
Portia loves a knit! Even at the height of an Italian summer, our girl was all but contractually obligated to wear something crocheted—be it a bucket hat, sweater vest, or bolero. While Portia caught a lot of flack for her outfits, we don’t think she needs to give up her signature look; we’d just suggest she level up a bit. What better way to move her in the right direction than with this gorgeous Diotima dress?
diotima crochet flounce-trim dress
Belly Conklin, The Summer I Turned Pretty: Charmco Vintage French Qu’Hier Que Demain 18k Gold Charm
While The Summer I Turned Pretty fans are split between Team Conrad and Team Jeremiah, nobody is Team Ugly Jewelry, and the infinity necklace Conrad gets for Belly is downright tragic. Jeremiah can one-up his brother by purchasing a + Qu’hier – Que Demain necklace, a much subtler love token.
vintage french qu’ hier que demain 18k gold charm
Empress Catherine II, The Great: Dame Eva Vibrator
When it comes to everything from the future of the Russian Empire to her sex life, Catherine has a real go-getter attitude. We reckon the empress would be thrilled to discover the 21st century’s pleasure-centric technological advancements, so we’d love to gift her this hands-free vibrator from Dame. Whether she’s using it with Peter, a lover, or by herself, this vibrator will leave Catherine saying “Huzzah!”
Philomena Cunk, Cunk on Earth: Smythson World Atlas
A history buff like Philomena Cunk could surely use an atlas to fondly reminisce on her many international trips. Crack open any page of this leather-bound, gilt edged Smythson version and this world traveler would likely have a story to tell. (The veracity of that story, however, is another question.)
large world atlas in mara
Amy Lau, Beef: Ring Camera
Having a stranger break into your bathroom—and pee all over it—is an extremely stress-inducing event, so we’d want to help Amy sleep a little easier at night with this Ring doorbell camera.
basic kit video doorbell
Charlie Cale, Poker Face: Tiffany & Co. Makers Swiss Army Knife in Sterling Silver
Although Charlie’s bullshit meter is always going off, the gal can never seem to catch a break. After the first season ended with our heroine on an American odyssey of sorts, we’d want to give her something to help her out of her many predicaments.
Tiffany & Co.
makers swiss army knife sterling silver
Eric Effiong, Sex Education: Zankov Rudy Sweater
Fashion-forward Eric loves a loud, colorful print, and we think he would be absolutely obsessed with this Zankov sweater. Perfect for the British climate!
Prince Charles, The Crown: Rebecca Gardner Garden Tools Salad Set
What do you get a man who has everything? We’d be willing to bet that a gardening enthusiast like Prince Charles would be absolutely chuffed by this pitchfork and shovel salad serving set. Not that he’s exactly making his own salads…
Houses and Parties
garden tools salad set
James Marsden, Jury Duty: Personal Constellation
Poor James Marsden had a rough turn on Jury Duty, between being picked as an alternate juror to losing out on a part to one of Hollywood’s many Chrises. For anyone hoping to cheer up the fictionalized, satirized version of America’s Sweetheart, a personal constellation would tell him that while he may not be the star in that one movie, he can a whole bunch of literal stars instead! (We recommend splurging on an extra bright constellation, for extra ego-stroking.)
constellation star gift pack
Daisy Jones, Daisy Jones & The Six: Free People Gift Card
Our boho queen Daisy Jones would be pleased to know that not only is her style alive and well in 2023, but there’s an entire store practically bred in a lab to match her exact aesthetic preferences. We’re normally anti-gift cards, but for Daisy, we’ll make an exception: Give that girl a dollar amount of your choosing and watch her go buck wild.
Midge Maisel, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel: Susan Alexandra Extra Dirty Martini Mezuzah
Midge’s Jewishness is just as central to her identity as her comedy, and what better way to combine the two than with a piece from Susan Alexandra’s Judaica collection? The combined kitsch and wit of designer Susan Korn’s pieces are perfect for Midge, who we know would really get a kick out of the dirty martini mezuzah.
extra dirty martini Mezuzah